Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
---Leo Tolstoy

Hey, you're Anthony Bourdain.
I am. Most strangers on the street call out Tony though.
That's because most strangers like being inappropriately familiar with celebrities.
That could be true.
I enjoy your show. It's different than the rest of the travel food shows.
Thanks, I agree. Why do you think so.
Cos you're present. When you explore and eat and enjoy, you're there, not talking to the camera. You do your analysis in voice over after the moment, you've thought about it, captured it in words. The others talk too much.
I agree again. Are you nursing a baby under that tea towel?
I am. My baby in fact.
You're sitting near a beach on a beautiful afternoon in Newcastle, what's with the towel?
It takes a bit of managing baby and breast when you're not small-chested. Australia's not New Guinea, you know?
So is it for you or for strangers on the street?
Probably more for me. I'd like to discourage inappropriate familiarity.
Right. Have you ever tasted mother's milk?
I have. As a mother the first time around, my own.
What did it taste like?
Like milk. Like perfumed mild milk.
Perfumed? Perfumed of what?
Of me.
A large-breasted American woman nurses her baby with perfumed milk under a tea towel on a beach in Newcastle. That's beguilingly far out.
Is it? Take the American out of there and it's pretty normal I would think.
True enough. But that is what we call relativity.

i didn't want to see that photograph.
the one that followed the one of you
with your moustache and your mates
smiling on the back porch, before your 21st.
because when i see those old photos of you
i imagine meeting you then, seeing you across a room,
across whatever room you were going to be in that night
smiling and handsome, even with the moustache and the mullet
i imagine the same spark, you at 21 and me at 26
and wanting you, to know more about you,
to spin just a brief romance akin to the one we created when we met.
but that photograph followed and filled my vision 
and i couldn't be there ever again.
slender, blonde, bare-breasted thing on your lap
with whipped cream smeared across her front
and you smiling, still so handsome, still so young
still so far away from me.
it was more than i could bear.

Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging

Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists -- INFJs gravitate toward such a role -- are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.

INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ.

"There's something rotten in Denmark." Accurately suspicious about others' motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.

INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.

Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche.

Functional Analysis:

Introverted iNtuition

Introverted intuitives, INFJs enjoy a greater clarity of perception of inner, unconscious processes than all but their INTJ cousins. Just as SP types commune with the object and "live in the here and now" of the physical world, INFJs readily grasp the hidden psychological stimuli behind the more observable dynamics of behavior and affect. Their amazing ability to deduce the inner workings of the mind, will and emotions of others gives INFJs their reputation as prophets and seers. Unlike the confining, routinizing nature of introverted sensing, introverted intuition frees this type to act insightfully and spontaneously as unique solutions arise on an event by event basis.

Extraverted Feeling

Extraverted feeling, the auxiliary deciding function, expresses a range of emotion and opinions of, for and about people. INFJs, like many other FJ types, find themselves caught between the desire to express their wealth of feelings and moral conclusions about the actions and attitudes of others, and the awareness of the consequences of unbridled candor. Some vent the attending emotions in private, to trusted allies. Such confidants are chosen with care, for INFJs are well aware of the treachery that can reside in the hearts of mortals. This particular combination of introverted intuition and extraverted feeling provides INFJs with the raw material from which perceptive counselors are shaped.

Introverted Thinking

The INFJ's thinking is introverted, turned toward the subject. Perhaps it is when the INFJ's thinking function is operative that he is most aloof. A comrade might surmise that such detachment signals a disillusionment, that she has also been found lacking by the sardonic eye of this one who plumbs the depths of the human spirit. Experience suggests that such distancing is merely an indication that the seer is hard at work and focusing energy into this less efficient tertiary function.

Extraverted Sensing

INFJs are twice blessed with clarity of vision, both internal and external. Just as they possess inner vision which is drawn to the forms of the unconscious, they also have external sensing perception which readily takes hold of worldly objects. Sensing, however, is the weakest of the INFJ's arsenal and the most vulnerable. INFJs, like their fellow intuitives, may be so absorbed in intuitive perceiving that they become oblivious to physical reality. The INFJ under stress may fall prey to various forms of immediate gratification. Awareness of extraverted sensing is probably the source of the "SP wannabe" side of INFJs. Many yearn to live spontaneously; it's not uncommon for INFJ actors to take on an SP (often ESTP) role.

Taken here: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

Idealist Portrait of the Counselor (INFJ)

Counselors have an exceptionally strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others, and find great personal fulfillment interacting with people, nurturing their personal development, guiding them to realize their human potential. Although they are happy working at jobs (such as writing) that require solitude and close attention, Counselors do quite well with individuals or groups of people, provided that the personal interactions are not superficial, and that they find some quiet, private time every now and then to recharge their batteries. Counselors are both kind and positive in their handling of others; they are great listeners and seem naturally interested in helping people with their personal problems. Not usually visible leaders, Counselors prefer to work intensely with those close to them, especially on a one-to-one basis, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes.

Counselors are scarce, little more than one percent of the population, and can be hard to get to know, since they tend not to share their innermost thoughts or their powerful emotional reactions except with their loved ones. They are highly private people, with an unusually rich, complicated inner life. Friends or colleagues who have known them for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that Counselors are flighty or scattered; they value their integrity a great deal, but they have mysterious, intricately woven personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.

Counselors tend to work effectively in organizations. They value staff harmony and make every effort to help an organization run smoothly and pleasantly. They understand and use human systems creatively, and are good at consulting and cooperating with others. As employees or employers, Counselors are concerned with people's feelings and are able to act as a barometer of the feelings within the organization.

Blessed with vivid imaginations, Counselors are often seen as the most poetical of all the types, and in fact they use a lot of poetic imagery in their everyday language. Their great talent for language-both written and spoken-is usually directed toward communicating with people in a personalized way. Counselors are highly intuitive and can recognize another's emotions or intentions - good or evil - even before that person is aware of them. Counselors themselves can seldom tell how they came to read others' feelings so keenly. This extreme sensitivity to others could very well be the basis of the Counselor's remarkable ability to experience a whole array of psychic phenomena.

Mohandas Gandhi, Sidney Poitier, Eleanor Roosevelt, Jane Goodall, Emily Bronte, Sir Alec Guiness, Carl Jung, Mary Baker Eddy, Queen Noor are examples of the Counselor Idealist (INFJ).

It's not meant to be a strife
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill
Oh I

It's not meant to be a strife
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill
Oh I

You're trying too hard
Surrender
Give yourself in
You're trying too hard
You're trying too hard, ah

It's not meant to be a strife
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill
Sweetly
It's not meant to be as dry
To enjoy
It's not meant to be a stuggle uphill
Oh I

It's warmer now
Lean into it
Unfold
Unfold in a generous way
Surrender

It's not meant to be as dry (surrender)
It's not meant (undo) to be a struggle uphill (undo)
It's not meant to be as dry
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill

I'm praying
To be
In a generous mode
The kindness kind
The kindness kind
To share
Me
To share me

It's not meant to be as dry
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill

It's not meant to be as dry
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill

Undo
Undo
If you're bleeding
Undo
And if you're sweating
Undo
If you're crying, darling
Undo

Undo
Oh I
Unravel

The Cove
http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/thecove/


Surrogates
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=57630556

Home again today.

Monday Mom came over to see Pat's final Spanish class presentation. Wasn't long apparently, but he was pleased she was there. We saw the fox twice, just sauntering in the yard. It looked like it was eating some watermelon wedges Andrew had tossed down the back of the woods. I think it's a female, but couldn't get the camera quickly enough to snap it.

Later in the day, the boy next door saw a big black snake in the yard! Very exciting. Andrew has read up on the 2-3 venomous snakes in Virginia, and I knew this wasn't one of them, so we checked it out from a few feet away. It was about 4' long.




By the time Andrew came home, it was making it's way toward the house, so of course it had to be wrangled.






It was quite handsome and reared when Andrew wrangled it. Turns out it's an Eastern Ratsnake, the only 6'+ snake in Virginia and a constrictor. They come out of hibernation in April and mate in May and June. They eat rodents and birds. It slunk around the house and Andrew thinks it went under the AC unit. Pretty cool!

Pinched nerve. Home from work. Blah.

But Sunday the guys installed half the floors. Yeah, only half, which is annoying since they won't be back til Wedensday. And the stairs have yet to be torn up, cos we're waiting on thresholds and bullnoses, but hopefully all will be done by the end of the week. Of course, I want to paint the foot moulding first, so that will be a bit down the road, but that's no big deal.

No photos of the new floors yet, but the drywall is done. See all the sticky tape residue!


So Andrew played cricket and Pat and I had a picnic on the lawn and played Blokus. It was a lovely day and we had coconut-mango ice blocks and listened to the air compressor inside the house. =)

So last night, Dario and his Dad came over to discuss some decisions about electrical stuff since they had gotten the drywall off. Here's the kitchen with the drywall off; they're going to just replace the middle bits since everything is going to be covered anyway, but we're consolidating some of the power points and moving a switch.


So we're talking and I mention the crappy flooring and point out that little square bit that just looks so half-ass, and Dario bent down to see if he could pry it up. And he does cos it's just a teeny piece and on the back of it we see...sticky tape. That white foam, double-sided sticky tape you use for i dunno what, but you know what I'm talking about. So we all kind of look at each other and say, surely, that's just cos it's that little piece and you wouldn't nail it down or whatever. So Dario finds a bigger, but still small 6"-long bit on the edge and pulls that up. And there's sticky tape on it! Two strips along the edges. And then we prise up a longer piece...


Yeah.


It's crazy right?! Fucking sticky tape! holding down wood floors! Well, that's fairly debatable. The floors, while they have the appearance of wood, are in fact three thin shitty layers of wood, the top being oak and the other two being shit. This explains the way it's worn over what has only been about 15 years. The finish is shit and there are cracks all along it. And being in a kitchen, of course water gets on it, and has obviously seeped in through the shitty finish and the shitty layers. It's just crazy.

Because the  previous owner (owner before those who sold us the house) who installed these still knows our next door neighbors, she came to a 4th of July cookout last year, and we met of course and she told me she's the one who had the "nice" hardwoods installed upstairs. Apparently she had a spare 400 bucks and decided to have Happy the Floor Installer do a bit of work. Just crazy. I'm saving that bit of flooring. It's gonna be my symbol in my battle against mediocrity. Admittedly, I've been engaged in that before now, but now I have a symbol!

I took three of these---all blurry.
Anyway, you can see the difference in the colors. The new bamboo is less yellow, more white blonde, and the planks are about 1/2" wider. Not to mention they'll be installed by a professional. The professionals are there now actually, replacing the drywall behind the long wall in the kitchen where we ripped off the tiles. They're going to recess the stove socket, remove two of the gazillion power points on the wall, and move what will be the light switch for the cabinet lighting around the corner.

Just under the stove.
Removing everything has revealed what a half-assed job the workers did and what crappy materials they used. Under the appliances along the wall was the linoleum, which ironically, they only removed under the sink. Then there was a sliver of ceramic tile just under the stove that they didn't remove. I imagine they didn't bother pulling out the stove at all, even though it's just plugged in. That little square of flooring there, not even the width of a plank sort of sums up the entire flooring job. Little bits here and there, uneven plank lengths. I can't wait to see the new floor.

We got a lot of the cabinets out this weekend; the sink is now propped in the cabinet with just one drain hooked up. We're not getting a disposal in the new kitchen, so this will be practice. =)  The drywall (where the tile was) and flooring is set to start being installed Thursday! So Wednesday night will be getting the last of the cabinets out. The installers will just move the appliances around. We've decided on an LG fridge, a stainless front for the DW (cos Consumer Reports rated it highly and new it's $600), but I haven't found a stove yet.

taken the day we closed. it hasn't been that clean since.

or roughly thereabouts. =)

20 May 2004: the thing is

21 May 2005: pissed off and wanting to be taken care of

19 May 2006: 3 days before I went back to work and a month before going to Australia for the first time

24 May 2007: Battle at Krueger

21 May 2008: right brain left brain

Australian tourist jailed in Thailand over souvenir beer mat

The World Today - Tuesday, 19 May 2009 12:46:00
Reporter: Rachael Brown

PETER CAVE: A Melbourne woman has spent two nights in a Thai jail after being accused of stealing a bar mat from a Phuket hotel.

She has now been granted bail but can't leave the country because authorities still have her passport.

Rachael Brown reports.

RACHAEL BROWN: A fortnight ago, 36-year-old Annice Smoel from Melbourne was celebrating her mother's 60th birthday at Phuket's Aussie Hotel, when she says an innocent prank landed her in a jail cell.

It centres around a beer mat: a rubber-backed, pictured bar towel that she's heard could earn her up to five years in the tiny cell where she spent a weekend.

ANNICE SMOEL: Four metres by four metres concrete slab, big bars, a toilet that makes you feel ill just to look at, that probably has never been cleaned, no toilet paper. They would bring food twice a day and it was food from the street that my Mum and I had joked about in the week leading up to this.

It sort of looks like it's served in a plastic bag, like we would buy a goldfish.

RACHAEL BROWN: Ms Smoel has told Fairfax Radio she was released after two nights but says authorities have kept her passport, and she faces a long frustrating wait in Thailand away from her four young daughters.

ANNICE SMOEL: The process here apparently is the police have 48 days to investigate the crime. They then hand it to the prosecutor, who decides whether it's prosecutable, who hands it to the Governor, who decides whether he agrees, then it either goes before a judge or gets thrown out.

RACHAEL BROWN: Ms Smoel says Thai police know she wasn't responsible for the prank but she says they don't care.

ANNICE SMOEL: There's video evidence in the bar. I was nowhere near the handbag and one of the girls that was involved went down to the police station on the Sunday morning and confessed to the crime and apologised, and they told her to go away. They didn't care.

RACHAEL BROWN: Bernard Murphy, from law firm Morris Blackburn, is representing Ms Smoel and says initial dealings with Thai authorities have been frustrating

BERNARD MURPHY: It's ridiculous on so many levels. On the worst view, if there had been a crime committed here, it is drunken souveniring of a bar towel.

But on the best view, they're holding a statutory declaration, a sworn declaration from two other people saying, "This woman didn't do it." The put it in her handbag when she wasn't even there as a joke.

RACHAEL BROWN: Are you worried this may turn into an incident of Thai authorities trying to save face perhaps?

BERNARD MURPHY: We've tried to do this in the way that they want to do it.

Which is, we've presented them with material, we've made representations to the embassy, we have made representations to the authorities, we've engaged a Thai lawyer.

We've done all the things to try and get this dealt with in some sensible timeframe. Almost three weeks later, we're still languishing in Thailand.

RACHAEL BROWN: What response have you had from the Federal Government?

BERNARD MURPHY: This morning we had a pleasing response from the Prime Minister.

It's a very unhappy situation that the Prime Minister of this country should have to intervene in a matter like this but he indicated some resolve in getting the problem fixed.

RACHAEL BROWN: The Victorian Premier John Brumby says the Government will do everything it can to get her back.

JOHN BRUMBY: The Attorney General Rob Hulls has been in contact with Department of Foreign Affairs and the Minister for Foreign Affairs Stephen Smith this morning. She's a Victorian, we want to get her back.

RACHAEL BROWN: Mr Brumby says the drama won't help the country's tourism market.

JOHN BRUMBY: I would have thought for the Thai Government and the Thai authorities, at a time of the global financial crisis when everybody wants tourism, this isn't going to help them. Who'd go to Thailand for a holiday if you can get arrested for having fun in a bar?

PETER CAVE: The Victorian Premier John Brumby ending that report by Rachael Brown.

And a very cool one at that.
Turns out it's a dark metallic wood borer; never seen one before.
It seemed pretty content to rest on my wrist.

The weekend began with a lovely seafood grill on the deck. Bacon-wrapped scallops, jumbo shrimp, corn, Andrew's cole slaw. I picked up some steak kabobs for Andrew since he's not so keen on scallops. Dario came over, which is always nice. He and Andrew are becoming better friends and Pat really likes him. He [Dario] had never had magic shell [?!], so we had ice cream for dessert and introduced him to our homemade version, which he liked.

Saturday Pat and I were off for Lego birthday presents, PJs, sandals and groceries.
He saw this shirt [but in brown] and loved it, so I caved and spent eight dollars on a new T-shirt!!! lol
Meanwhile, Andrew was pulling off the wall cabinets in the kitchen---the renovation has begun!



Well, I suppose it began earlier in the week when we started taking out the island and cabinets over the fridge. But this felt as though we were serious, lol.




He also started chiseling off some of the backsplash tiles, but since we'll have to replace the drywall anyway, he's just gonna cut the wall around the tiles. Later in the afternoon, he and Dario went to get the boxes of bamboo flooring [in wheat] that were ready to pick up. Our garage is just about full of boxes of new kitchen cabinets from Ikea, old cabinets destined for Freecycle, and wood flooring, lol. I want to leave from for the fridge and oven as well, just in case we can't sell them out of the house before we order the new ones.

I will post the requisite Before pictures as soon as I can get them online. =)

Sunday was a double birthday party day---Pat's friend and cousin. I hope we don't have to do that again, or rather, I don't want to have to do that again. Part of two parties isn't as fun as just missing one, but getting all of another. In any case, gave Violet the poncho and I'm sure she'll love it; she's outgrown the cardigan from birthday #1. A certain somebody also liked it a lot though...might have to knit an adult one too. =)

You know he likes Gang Starr's Love Sick and think you've heard him mention an LL Cool J song, but then one day he's listening to NWA's 100 Miles and Running, and Ice Cube's No Vaseline, and Eminem's 3 am. Like, out of the blue. And they're songs he loves. Lol. Crazy, right? Good though.